Monday, July 14, 2008


**Note: I originally posted this on The Righteous Buzz on July 7, 2008. After some thought, I decided to put this series onto a blog of its own.

I've been kicking this idea around for awhile now. Well, for a couple of hours. This is an election year and well... I would like to do my part. First of all, I would like to lay out my stellar qualifications for y'all. Just so you know.

I graduated 242 out of a class of around 500 in 1984. That's high school I am talking about. And, if I weren't lazy I would find out the exact numbers. But I am, so I won't. One of my father's favorite things to ask me when I was in high school was, "Are you going to be satisfied with mediocrity?" Apparently so. We moved the day after I graduated from California to Pennsylvania.

I did not go to college straight out of high school. I wanted to be a paramedic so I went to an Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) class at a Vo-Tech after a stint working in the gift shop of a honeymoon resort in the Poconos. I passed the state test and was issued my official patches. They never made it onto a shirt because my father retired from the Army and we left Pennsylvania after one year.

My father went to college at night while I was in high school and graduated Suma cum Laude (and I totally do not know if that is spelled right or what it means exactly... other than he's smart) with a degree in Finance. He felt that with his success and experience in the Army and his shiny degree that he would get a great job in no time. We spent most of the summer gallivanting around and ended up back in San Diego at my grandparents before school started. Things started getting stressful on the job front. My brothers had been enrolled in school but by the time November rolled around they decided to pack it up and go back north to Seattle. I'd been staying at my aunt and uncle's a few miles away and decided to stay in California until my parents got settled.

I actually went back and forth between there and my grandparents for several months. I looked into work as an EMT and learned that the EMT certification I had worked for was only good in the state of Pennsylvania. I got a job at Burger King. In January my parents bought a house even though my Dad still did not have a job. I flew up the day after they closed on the house and day before our things arrived from storage. We had all been basically living out of suitcases for seven months.

I saw an add for EMT's in the paper and decided to go check it out. The job was for an ambulance company and even though I did not have a Washington certification I thought that maybe they would work with me until I did. I learned that the state requirements at that time were that you had to have three years street experience as an EMT before you could be sponsored to enter a paramedic program at one of three schools in the entire state. I could not get a job as an EMT because I was only 19 and company insurance required EMT's be at least 21. I could have worked as a volunteer but you needed to have your own car, which I did not. So... I got a job at a pizza joint.

I met my husband soon after I moved to Washington. He was dating someone else, but that is a story for another day. Anyway, we became friends and then started dating in July of 1986. Twenty two years ago.

In the fall he went back to his state college two hours away and I enrolled in the local Community College. We got engaged on Christmas Eve in 1987, nearly a year and a half after we started dating. I dropped out of the Community College in the spring of 1988 and spent two months in an eating disorder unit of a hospital which you can read about here. When I got out, I went to work for his Dad as his secretary. In June of 1988 my frat boy president husband graduated from college with a degree in Finance. Don't worry, it wasn't that kind of Fraternity and there was no Frat house. Their parties did include a lot of drinking but they all stood around talking about politics at most of them. The one party that was fun was the last one I was allowed to attend because one of the frat boys tried to pick me up.

In July of 1988 we found out I was pregnant and a week later my parents split. We went through some pretty tough stuff and after three different wedding dates, got married in November. I was six months pregnant and in 3 1/2 years we had three children. Needless to say, we figured out what was making that happen and bought a TV. Sorry. I just had to throw that in there. That was the big joke back then. You know... like, we got asked all the time if we didn't have a TV...ha ha... you got it, right?

We are Christians and have been regular attenders since I was pregnant with our first child. We homeschooled our kids for nine years. My Dad likes to joke that that is how I finally got educated. As you can see from my style of writing I fly a little loose in the grammar department.

So you know up front I find politics to be painfully boring. There are many things in my life that fall into the painfully boring category but are necessary evils of life... such as laundry, cleaning toilets, picking up dog poop, dusting, vacuuming, and when your children are small... changing diapers, cleaning up puke, and continually picking up after them.

I've tried to keep this blog anonymous. I have stated my real first name on here on several occasions... and some of my closest friends and relatives are aware of this blog but it is not something I share with people in my everyday life. If you live in my town and you read this blog and you feel like sharing it with other people in our town... talk to me first. There might or might not be money involved. Okay, there won't be but I make great pumpkin bread and I'll give you some if you keep quiet. All that to say... I must confess a few things. Partly because I am honest and partly because my best buddy in this town reads this and is probably laughing her butt off at the thought of me giving any sort of political tutorial. You see, she's lived here all of her life except for a few years when her kids were tots. She is very politically savvy and one time... I just didn't want to do the research to figure out the local stuff... I may or may not have asked her who to vote for and Mr. Macchiato and I may or may not have taken her advice. And we may or may not have been happy with one of the people we voted for due to her advice. Although, recently, we may or may not have been thinking that maybe it was okay that we voted for him and we may or may not vote for him again. Also... we voted for Ross Perot. And I may or may not have just voted the party line once or twice.

That was cathartic and freeing!

What I want to attempt here is to just give a few little tutorials here and there when I feel like it. Non-partisan, of course. And, hopefully, not boring. And so you know, I'm not one of those wives that just repeats what her husband says... there are many areas we don't exactly see eye to eye on. Eventually, he comes around though. That was to see if Mr. Macchiato is reading. Because I am a girl... well, a woman... but really sometimes still a girl... this will be from that perspective.

So, be on the lookout for the next installment of The Uneducated Housewife's Guide to Politics for the Uninterested, written by the bored housewife who dropped out of Community College and has never made more than $11,000 in one year and that was in 1988. Yeah, I got that little Social Security Statement in the mail today.


dlyn said...

I obviously picked a good day to visit your blog for {I think} the first time - Flea is right - you ARE fun! :)

Roland Hulme said...

I'm very excited to read this blog! I'm sure it'll be interested (and hotly debated) stuff.

funny - you call yourself 'uneducated' but I think that's very far from the truth.

The homeschool thing is interesting. I've always been deeply skeptical of homeschooling and statistics generally prove me right - plus the American public school system isn't half as bad as Americans seem to think it is (come to England, love. It's not all Oxford and Cambridge.)

That being said, one of my colleagues homeschooled his kids and two smarter, more sociable, polite, capable and confident children you'd be hard pressed to meet. He obviously did it right and rocked my preconceptions regarding the subject.

4funboys said...

3 kids - 3 year... TV...

I'm laughing ...

I had 4 boys in 4 years... we heard that TV joke...A LOOOOTTT.

and um-

I'm starting to homeschool my 2nd son this year...
and the crazy thing is, I'm a public school teacher; who pays BIG bucks for the boys to go to private school- yet the idea of trying to homeschool next year still scares the bajeebers out of me (did I mention I teach 1st graders?? Yeah, my son will be a fourth grade.)

any advice??